Thursday, March 6

Beggary Letter To My Course Mates

I wrote this letter in tears. Maybe some of you think it is too much but please read till the end.
rinahoney.blogspot.com
Segamat, Johor
6th march 2008


My Dear Beloved Course Mates,

I’m so sad. I’m really sad and very disappointed with your decision. Have you think about it deeply? This is about your future. Break the sem! Is that the best solution to choose? Can’t you think of a better idea to solve the problem?

I tried very hard to help all of you. I knew that each of us have our commitments. We are employees, and have a job to keep. We also want to upgrade ourselves. It’s not easy to us. Holds a fulltime job and being a part time student! Sometimes we cannot attend class because of work, but that’s not a good reason to break or quit!

Guys,

You are my inspiration, my spirit who hearten me to study. Without you, I will be lost. I don’t want to be a loser. I need you guys. I really need the supports that you’ve always given me. Please don’t snatch them away from me. Please lend me your shoulder, guys.

Every Monday morning, when you open your mailbox, you will received my email, my attachment notes and homework. I will always be a reminder to all of you. I made the timetable and schedule for your referral and easiness. I made a phone call to an absent course mate, I’m worried if you are sick. I really care about you, guys. We had made a promise that we will be together till the final year. Why? Why guys? Why it this happening? Why do you take this decision?

You want to take a break this sem! Believe me, you’ll not go much to further for the next sem. It’s not getting any easier!

My Dearest Sis & Bro,

I’m not born in a rich family. In fact, I have a big family. My father is the only breadwinner in the family. My mom is a housewife. We are taught to feel content with whatever we get to have. There’s no such thing as, “I want or need this, may I have it?”

I started helping my mom with her small satay business since form one. Imagine, I’m taking SPM examination the next morning. The night before, I’m still helping mom till almost midnight! My results have always been border line as I don’t have much time to revise my studies. But I never blame my mom. That’s what in store for me during the early years of my life.

After STPM, I started working. Nevertheless, I keep trying to apply for a placement in the university. With the result that I hold, it’s not promising, but I still tried. I’ve always wanted to further my studies – get a placement in the university. I’ve made a vow to myself that I have to keep trying no matter what comes in the way.

I received an offer letter from UTM Skudai after 3 months holding a permanent job. I still remember it well. The offer is for second intake – that’s in December. I showed it to my mom. When she looked at the fees that we had to pay, she was shocked. Those days, there’s no such thing as PTPTN. There’s only scholarship. But then again, you can only apply it after you got the placement in the university.

I cried when I kept the offer letter in my personal box. Why? Because most of my friends and classmates got their placements in the universities and on the way to a better future. Some managed to further their studies in Yayasan Pelajaran Mara. I can’t even afford to be in Mara. Colleges during those times were not as many as today. Maybe there were private colleges, but they were too expensive for me then. Every year in December, I will open my personal box and stare at the offer letter, again and again. I kept in touch with friends whose busy with assignments being undergrads. I often asked them; how’s life in the university; how’s the class/tutorial like? What do you learn today? How’s the assignments given like? What’s assignment presentation? I asked almost everything that I want to know. For almost 10 years I kept the offer letter before the BIG flood that hit Segamat flushed away my personal box.

But that does not put off the fire to my flame. I had a job to keep and at the same time, I keep a lookout for off campus opportunity. Yes there are, but they are quite far from home. Opportunity to further studies was not as good as today. These days, private colleges and universities are almost everywhere. There isn’t anyone encouraging me to upgrade myself. There’s only me and myself.

I did try the private college, but when I looked at the fees, the flame becomes weak. Really, truly….I can’t afford it.

The happiest day in my life is when I received the offer letter from UiTM. I’m just like a 6-year old kid! It’s been so long….a really long wait for this!

The very first step into UiTM, I made a vow to myself. I vow that I will use the chance given wisely. I will study hard! I have a job, my own earnings. Even though my salary is not as much as a professor, I do hope it will be enough to pull me through the off campus years.

I will not miss this chance! Not in a million years!!

Dear Friends,

I’m very happy because I have friends like you. We have our own ambition. The same ambition. We study together. Remember my entry, ‘My Memory’ dated 23 Jan 08? That was the sweetest memory of you, guys. Why do we want to further study? Because we have a mission.

Don’t you think it’s a BIG waste to stop not even half way? We may not be as smart as Einstein, but we can if we try! We can do this, guys! We were given the chances, why ignore?

You told me that you are too busy with the work or too tired. Yes, it’s true. Really tired. I don’t deny it. But, do you know that I handle three jobs in at a time? My working hours is 9am to 5pm. Back from the office at 6pm, I’ll be helping my mom at the warong till 2am. After a bath, I started to do assignments and homework till 4 or 5 am. Sometimes I sleep after Suboh for 2 hours before I went to office at 9am the next day. Sometimes, I do not take my lunch. Instead, I’m doing my assignment during lunch hour. I have gone through all that and am still going through it.

I knew some of you think that working in the office environment is easy. NO. It is not like what you think. There’s more to than just being in the office. I went to the banks. Running to JPJ to settle things. I went to MDS, to deal with customer.

Sometimes, I was lectured bright early for little things. But, I ignore those small issues. Life goes on. I have to brave to every challenge that comes in life. Why not you?

My Dearest Course Mates,

Please think deeply with care and concern about your decision, your future. Don’t leave me to face it alone, by myself. I need you, guys. We can study and do this together. I'M BEGGING YOU. Please…


Thank you.

Yours Truly,

rinahoney.blogspot.com

No comments: